Dab tsi yog kev ncua sijhawm, nws hom thiab kev txhim kho cov txheej txheem. Yuav ua li cas thiaj paub tus neeg ncua sijhawm hauv koj tus kheej. Vim li cas nws thiaj ntxias kom ncua sijhawm rau tom qab thiab yuav ua li cas nrog nws. Kev ncua sij hawm yog tus neeg cov khoom ntiag tug kom ncua kev saws me nyuam los ntawm kev txiav txim siab tseem ceeb lossis tsis zoo, kev ua, xwm txheej kom txog thaum tom qab. Tus neeg zoo li no yuav pom nws tus kheej ntau yam "tsim nyog" cov haujlwm, tsuas yog tsis ua qhov uas tseem ceeb heev. Vim li ntawd, nws muaj teeb meem tom haujlwm, hauv tsev neeg, hauv tsev kawm ntawv. Txawm li cas los xij, qhov kev nyiam no tsis yog xeeb leej xeeb ntxwv, yog li koj tuaj yeem tawm tsam nws.
Kev piav qhia thiab cov txheej txheem ntawm kev txhim kho ntawm kev ncua sijhawm
Lub sijhawm "ncua sijhawm" nws tus kheej tau tshwm sim nyob rau xyoo 70s ntawm lub xyoo pua xeem thiab muaj keeb kwm Anglo-Latin: los ntawm Askiv. "Kev ncua sijhawm" - "ncua sijhawm", "ncua sijhawm"; los ntawm lat "Сrastinus" - "tag kis", "pro" - "on". Ntawd yog, txhais txhais tias "ncua sijhawm mus txog tag kis."
Raws li cov kws tshawb fawb, kwv yees li 20% ntawm tag nrho cov neeg laus raug kev txom nyem los ntawm kev nyiam tsis quav ntsej thiab cuam tshuam nrog kev ua haujlwm thiab teeb meem tseem ceeb. Hloov chaw ntawm ua qee yam tseem ceeb, lawv tau npaj ua kom lawv tus kheej tsis khoom nrog cov khoom me me: haus luam yeeb so, khoom noj txom ncauj, tso dej paj, ua si game, siv Internet lossis social network. Los yog banal tsis ua dab tsi.
Ntxiv mus, ntau zaus ntau dua li qhov xav tau ncua kev ua tiav ntawm txoj haujlwm tau tshwm sim thaum txoj haujlwm no tsis haum rau lub ntsiab lus ntawm qhov yooj yim lossis zoo siab. Qhov no tuaj yeem ua haujlwm hauv tsev, kawm ua haujlwm, sau daim ntawv kawm tiav, hu rau tus neeg tsis zoo, thiab lwm yam. Tias yog vim li cas tus ncua sijhawm pom ntau qhov laj thawj los ncua rooj plaub uas tsis txaus siab rau qee qhov laj thawj rau tom qab.
Nws tuaj yeem ntseeg nws tus kheej tias tseem muaj sijhawm txaus ua ntej ua tiav, qhov teeb meem yuav daws nws tus kheej lossis poob nws qhov tseeb. Coob leej neeg tsuas yog xav tias tsis muaj dab tsi txhawb nqa ntau dua li hnub kawg lossis raug txhawb los ntawm lwm tus.
Los ntawm kev xaiv txoj hauv kev no los daws teeb meem thiab teeb meem, tus ncua sijhawm nws tus kheej ua rau nws lub neej nyuaj. Cov xwm txheej ncua sijhawm maj mam nthuav tawm thiab xav tau kev siv dag zog ntau dua ntawm lub cev thiab lub paj hlwb. Xws li ib tus neeg poob kev ntseeg siab ntawm lwm tus, tau txais cov xwm txheej ntawm "tsis ntseeg siab". Yog li ntawd, ua tsis tiav ntawm kev ua haujlwm thiab hauv tsev kawm ntawv, kev txaj muag hauv tsev neeg.
Kev ncua sijhawm yuav tsum tsis txhob totaub nrog laziness lossis qeeb. Hauv qhov no, tus neeg tsis xav ua dab tsi lossis ua nws maj mam yam tsis muaj qhov twinges ntawm lub siab. Hauv kev sib piv rau tus ncua sijhawm, uas tau ntsib kev ntxhov siab, thiab tshwj xeeb tshaj yog cov uas nkag siab - thiab mob siab rau ntawm lub siab, los ntawm qhov tseeb tias lawv tsis tuaj yeem daws teeb meem nyob rau lub sijhawm. Lossis lawv tsuas tsis tuaj yeem pib cov khoom "zoo" lossis ua haujlwm.
Koj tsis tuaj yeem teev npe qhov nyiam mus tso cov khoom kom txog thaum tom qab thiab so. So, tus neeg tau txais lub zog tshiab. Ntawm qhov tod tes, siv nws lub zog me me, cuam tshuam los ntawm txoj haujlwm tseem ceeb ntawm rooj plaub. Qhov kev pov tseg ntawm lub zog hluav taws xob, ua ke nrog kev tsis txaus siab, ncua sijhawm siv qhov kawg txawm tias ntau dua. Ntawd yog, tsis muaj haujlwm thiab tsis so.
Ntawm qhov tsis sib xws, ua haujlwm hauv hom xwm txheej ceev xav tau ntau lub cev thiab lub zog nruj - ntau ntxiv yog tias nws tau ua tiav yam tsis nrawm thiab raws sijhawm. Hauv cov txheej txheem no, feem ntau yuav tsum tau siv tshuaj doping hauv dej haus thiab kas fes, kev noj haus thiab kev noj zaub mov zoo tau cuam tshuam, tsis tsaug zog thiab qaug zog ntev.
Tseem ceeb! Kev ncua sij hawm yog pov tseg lub peev xwm ntawm lub neej, ua rau pom qhov tsis muaj zog, poob txoj hauv kev thiab tsis muaj sijhawm uas koj tuaj yeem khuv xim mus tas ib sim neej.
Qhov laj thawj tseem ceeb rau kev ncua sijhawm
Txhua tus neeg ncua sijhawm muaj nws tus kheej vim li cas thiaj tso tseg yam khoom mus txog tag kis. Nyob rau tib lub sijhawm, lawv tuaj yeem hloov pauv thiab sib cuam tshuam nrog lwm tus nyob ntawm seb txoj haujlwm twg yog nyob rau ntawm nws xub ntiag thiab theem kev nyuaj uas nws muaj.
Feem ntau ua rau ncua sijhawm yog:
- Yam ntxwv … Kev tsis lees paub, txaj muag, kev saib xyuas tus kheej, kev qia dub yog qhov muaj txiaj ntsig zoo rau kev ncua sijhawm.
- Qhov tshwj xeeb ntawm txoj haujlwm … Nws yog qhov yooj yim tshaj plaws los tso tseg ua ib yam dab tsi uas nyuaj heev, tho txawv, lossis tsis zoo siab. Ntawd yog, yam koj tsis nyiam ua rau muaj teeb meem sab hauv thiab tawm tsam. Qhov no tuaj yeem mus rau kws kho mob, pib noj zaub mov lossis tawm dag zog, tu lub caij nplooj ntoo hlav, nrhiav haujlwm zoo dua, tham nrog tus neeg tsis zoo, thiab lwm yam.
- Ntshai thiab phobias … Hauv plawv ntawm qhov tseeb tias tus neeg tso khoom rau tom qab yuav tsis muaj kev ntseeg siab hauv lawv lub peev xwm, ntshai txiav txim siab tseem ceeb, ntshai ua tsis tiav, hloov pauv, tswj tus kheej kom ua tiav thiab nplua nuj.
- Ua tsis tiav los txheeb xyuas qhov tseem ceeb ntawm lub hom phiaj hauv lub neej thiab ua ntej … Ib tus neeg uas muaj lub peev xwm zoo li no tsis tuaj yeem "cais" qhov tseem ceeb tiag tiag los ntawm kev teeb tsa cov haujlwm thiab teeb meem, siv lub zog rau qhov tsis tseem ceeb thiab tas li ua xyem xyav qhov tseeb ntawm kev txiav txim siab.
- Rebellious cim … Qee zaum qhov yuav tsum tau ua qee yam nrawm lossis nrawm tsim qhov kev xav ntawm kev tawm tsam yooj yim vim tias cov sijhawm teem tseg tau ua txhaum txoj cai ntawm kev ywj pheej ntawm tus kheej. Tsis tas li, kev tsis lees paub sab hauv tuaj yeem ua rau muaj kev cuam tshuam ntawm lwm tus neeg cov kev xav, kev xav tsis zoo thiab cov xwm txheej uas ua rau tsis zoo rau kev ntseeg sab hauv.
- Perfectionism … Lub siab xav ua tiav qhov kawg hauv qhov kawg tuaj yeem ncua sijhawm kawg rau kev ua tiav txoj haujlwm vim qhov kawg "polishing" ntawm cov ntsiab lus me me ntawm rooj plaub.
- Teeb meem nrog sijhawm … Feem ntau, kev ncua sijhawm txiav txim siab lossis ua tiav rooj plaub yog qhov tshwm sim ntawm ib tus neeg tsuas yog tsis ua phooj ywg nrog sijhawm. Nws tsis pom nws txoj kev kawm, lossis nws tsis tuaj yeem teeb tsa nws.
- Tsis muaj peev txheej … Qhov tshiab ntawm txoj haujlwm lossis nws qhov nyuaj, thaum tus ncua sijhawm tsis muaj qhov kev paub tsim nyog, kev paub, thiab kev txawj ntse, tuaj yeem cuam tshuam nrog ua kom tiav lub sijhawm.
Cov cim qhia ntawm kev ncua sijhawm
Qhov kev nyiam ncua sijhawm rau yav tom ntej tsis yog tsuas yog tsis pab coj lawv mus rau qhov kawg, tab sis kuj tseem pab txhawb rau lawv qhov kev sib sau ua ke. Yog li ntawd, nws yog ib qho tseem ceeb heev uas yuav tsum paub txog tus yam ntxwv zoo hauv koj tus kheej hauv lub sijhawm kom kev sib ntaus tawm tsam kev ncua sijhawm ua tiav.
Cov cim tseem ceeb ntawm kev ncua sijhawm yog:
- Kev xav rau kev cuam tshuam … Yog tias, ua ntej lossis thaum lub luag haujlwm tseem ceeb, koj tau kos los ua lwm yam (haus luam yeeb, haus khob kas fes, saib Facebook lossis VK, nyeem xov xwm hauv Is Taws Nem, ntxuav tais diav, ntxuav koj lub desktop ntawm koj lub computer, thiab lwm yam)., qhov no txhais tau tias tus ncua sijhawm hauv koj yog nyob hauv lub xeev muaj zog.
- Siv sij hawm … Koj kuj yuav tsum xav txog koj tus cwj pwm thaum koj siv sijhawm ntau ntawm txoj haujlwm. Tsis yog vim nws nyuaj, tab sis vim yog koj cuam tshuam rau lwm yam, yam tsis tseem ceeb. Nyob rau tib lub sijhawm, koj tsis ua tiav raws sijhawm lossis ua haujlwm raws sijhawm. Qhov no suav nrog qhov xav tau kev txiav txim siab tas li ua ntej koj tus kheej lossis cov uas teeb tsa cov haujlwm no, los nrog "kev zam txim" thiab mloog tsis yog cov lus zoo siab tshaj plaws txog koj tus kheej, txo qis kev ua haujlwm zoo.
- Tsis raws sij hawm … Kev ua haujlwm ntev, ncua sijhawm, ua tsis tiav cov lus cog tseg thiab lub luag haujlwm yam tsis muaj laj thawj txaus kuj tseem qhia tau tias koj zoo li tsis lees paub lub luag haujlwm lossis haujlwm tseem ceeb.
- Ua tsis tiav cov phiaj xwm … Koj yuav tsum tau ceev faj ntawm kev ncua sijhawm yog tias koj feem ntau tsis ua raws koj tus kheej cov phiaj xwm. Piv txwv li, yog tias koj tau npaj 4 yam rau hnub ntawd, tab sis tau ua 2. Tib lub sijhawm, koj muaj tag nrho cov xwm txheej kom ua tiav txoj phiaj xwm lossis txawm tias tshaj qhov ntawd.
- Tsev neeg, kev ua haujlwm lossis tsev kawm ntawv muaj teeb meem … Kev ua tsis tiav cov lus cog tseg, ncua sijhawm tsis tiav, ncua sijhawm thiab tsis paub txog teeb meem tuaj yeem cuam tshuam rau txhua qhov ntawm koj lub neej. Thaum ua haujlwm, koj tuaj yeem plam cov neeg siv khoom, kev ntseeg siab ntawm cov thawj coj thiab cov neeg ua haujlwm, thiab txawm tias txoj haujlwm nws tus kheej. Hauv tsev neeg - tsim kom muaj huab cua ntawm kev tsis ntseeg siab, sib cav sib ceg thiab ua rau tus neeg tsis txaus ntseeg, tsis muaj peev xwm ua tau. Hauv kev kawm - txhawm rau txo kev kawm tau zoo thiab tig cov kws qhia tawm tsam koj tus kheej.
Tseem ceeb! Qhov tseeb, tus ncua sijhawm nyob hauv peb txhua tus thiab hauv cov koob tshuaj me me tuaj yeem muaj txiaj ntsig. Yog tias nws qhia txog kev nyuaj thiab teeb meem hauv lub neej, nws yuav tsum raug ntiab tawm!
Ntau yam ntawm kev ncua sijhawm
Nyob ntawm seb qhov kev coj ua rau kev ncua sijhawm tshwm sim li cas, nws tuaj yeem faib ua ob peb hom. Feem ntau, ib hom kev ncua sijhawm tseem ceeb tshaj plaws, txawm hais tias tseem muaj kev sib xyaw ua ke ntawm ntau yam.
Cov hom tseem ceeb ntawm kev ncua sijhawm yog:
- Kev ncua sij hawm txhua hnub … Txhua txhua hnub uas peb ua txhua hnub poob rau hauv kev pom ntawm hom tsiaj no. Kev txhawb siab ntawm ib tus neeg uas tau poob qis hauv nws lub zog feem ntau ntseeg tias ncua kev ua tiav txoj haujlwm mus rau hnub tom ntej yuav tsis coj qee yam kev puas tsuaj hauv ntiaj teb. Raws li qhov tshwm sim, toj roob hauv pes ntawm cov tais diav loj tuaj, cov hmoov av sib sau ua ke, cov rog rog nce ntxiv, thiab lwm yam, nrog rau kev thuam tus kheej vim qhov no.
- Neurotic ncua sijhawm … Hauv qhov no, qhov xav tau tseem ceeb los txiav txim siab tseem ceeb ua rau tus neeg nkag mus rau hauv qhov tshee tshee thiab ntshai, tshwj xeeb tshaj yog tias qhov kev txiav txim siab no hloov pauv tus neeg ncua sijhawm lub neej thiab kev ua neej zoo.
- Kev ncua sijhawm hauv kev txiav txim siab … Hom kev xav ncua sijhawm no muaj nyob hauv cov neeg uas feem ntau ntshai txiav txim siab. Ib qho, tsis yog qhov tseem ceeb tshaj plaws.
- Kev ncua sijhawm kawm ntawv … Nws yog qhov raug rau cov tub ntxhais kawm thiab cov tub ntxhais kawm, txij li nws npog txhua yam (kev daws teeb meem, kev ua haujlwm, haujlwm) nrog rau kev kawm thiab txheej txheem kev kawm.
- Kev ncua sij hawm yuam … Nws suav nrog ob txoj hauv kev ib zaug - ncua ob qho kev ua haujlwm thiab kev txiav txim siab.
Txoj hauv kev los tiv thaiv kev ncua sijhawm
Ua ntej xaiv txoj hauv kev kom tshem ntawm kev ncua sijhawm, koj yuav tsum lees ncaj ncees rau koj tus kheej tias koj muaj nws. Cov kauj ruam tom ntej hauv kev tawm tsam kev ncua mus txog rau tag kis yuav yog kom paub tseeb tias yog vim li cas tom qab nws. Thiab tsuas yog tam sim no nws tuaj yeem txiav txim siab yuav ua li cas daws qhov "kab tsuag" no ntawm kev vam meej yav tom ntej.
Txoj kev naj npawb 1: teev cov khoom tseem ceeb
Ua ib daim ntawv teev cov khoom tseem ceeb tshaj plaws los ua. Nws yog qhov nthuav tias feem ntau muaj tsawg dua ntawm lawv hauv cov ntawv sau dua li muaj nyob hauv lub taub hau. Nov yog thawj qhov nyiaj ntxiv rau thawj rooj plaub ua tiav.
Tom qab ntawd, koj yuav tsum rov ua tib zoo nyeem nws thiab txiav txim siab ua ntej. Nws yog qhov zoo dua los ua qhov no raws li cov qauv hauv qab no: qhov tseem ceeb ntawm rooj plaub, nws nrawm thiab xav tau.
Nyob rau theem no, nws yog ib qho tseem ceeb heev rau kev tshuaj xyuas cov khoom ntawm daim ntawv thiab ua siab tawv qhawv tawm ntawm lawv yam uas tsis cuam tshuam lossis tseem ceeb ntxiv lawm. Tsis yog txhua tus yuav pom qhov kev lim dej yooj yim, yog li peb pom zoo siv "tus qauv xav tau" rau qhov no. Hloov tsuas yog ob qho "Kuv xav tau" ua ntej txhua daim ntawv yuav tsum ua. Yog tias, thaum tshaj tawm cov kab lus tshwm sim, koj tsis muaj kev tawm tsam sab hauv, cov khoom tseem nyob ntawm cov npe.
Yog tias "Kuv xav tau" zoo li "Kuv yuav tsum tau," hla cov khoom tag nrho lossis txav nws mus rau cov npe cais. Txoj hauv kev no koj yuav pom dab tsi yog qhov tseem ceeb rau koj. Ib yam uas koj tuaj yeem siv koj lub sijhawm thiab lub zog rau. Thiab nws yuav yooj yim thiab zoo siab ua qhov no, txij li daim ntawv yuav tsis muaj cov kab mob zoo li no ntxiv li tsis txaus siab, tsis tsim nyog thiab tsis muaj feem cuam tshuam.
Tom ntej no, koj yuav tsum paub yog vim li cas koj thiaj tsis ua qhov tseem ceeb uas tseem nyob hauv cov npe ua ntej. Peb nrhiav qhov ua rau thiab tshem tawm nws.
Tom qab xws li "kev tu" ntawm cov haujlwm uas tau teeb tsa, daim duab yuav pom tseeb dua: koj yuav pom tias qhov tseeb tsis yog txhua yam tsis zoo, thiab txhawm rau ua tus tswv rau koj daim ntawv teev npe, koj yuav tsis xav tau ntau npaum li cas. Thiab kev sib ntaus sib tua ncua sijhawm yuav yooj yim dua.
Tam sim no koj coj daim ntawv no thiab ua ib yam ib hnub rau ib lub lim tiam - tsis ntau, tsis tsawg. Raws li txoj cai "ua txoj haujlwm - taug kev ua siab loj." Tom qab ntawd saib rau koj tus kheej: koj tuaj yeem ua tau ntau dua - nce tus nqi, tab sis nrog kev so so kom so (tsawg kawg ib teev), kev noj zaub mov zoo thiab pw tsaug zog.
Txoj kev naj npawb 2: koom haum thiab phiaj xwm
Ua daim ntawv yuav tsum ua tsis yog tib txoj hauv kev los tawm tsam kev ncua sijhawm nrog cov txheej txheem kev teeb tsa. Ua nws txoj cai los npaj koj hnub, suav nrog siv tib daim ntawv. Yog tias txhua yam tau faib meej meej thoob plaws ib hnub, yuav tsis muaj sijhawm rau "kev cuam tshuam".
Yog tias txoj haujlwm ntawm tes yog qhov nyuaj lossis siv sijhawm tiag tiag, rhuav nws thiab ua tiav nws maj mam. Tsis txhob hnov qab so ntawm nruab nrab ntawm qhov ua tiav cov haujlwm.
Txoj kev naj npawb 3: rov kho dua ua ntej
Nrhiav cov haujlwm uas tseem ceeb (tsim nyog), tab sis tsis yog qhov koj nyiam. Thiab yog vim li cas koj feem ntau muab nws tso rau tom qab lub qhov cub. Ua tib zoo saib seb koj puas yuav tsum ua tiag tiag. Tej zaum lawv qhov kev siv tuaj yeem raug xa mus rau lwm tus, lossis tseem raug tshem tawm ntawm cov npe ntawm yam tseem ceeb.
Ntau zaus ntau dua, cov npe no suav nrog cov haujlwm tsis nyiam thiab teeb meem kev kawm. Hauv qhov no, muaj 2 txoj hauv kev rau kev nqis tes ua: thawj qhov yog hloov kev ua haujlwm, chaw lossis kev qhia ntawm kev kawm; qhov thib ob yog hloov tus cwj pwm ntawm lawv. Qhov tom kawg suav nrog rov xav txog koj tus cwj pwm rau kev ua haujlwm lossis kawm thiab nrhiav qhov zoo hauv lawv.
Yog tias kev ntshai yog qhov ua rau ncua sijhawm, nrhiav nws thiab tso nws mus. Yog tias tsim nyog, nrog kev pab los ntawm kws kho mob hlwb.
Teem koj tus kheej cov haujlwm tiag tiag nrog lub sijhawm tiag tiag. Cov haujlwm uas maj thiab tseem ceeb rau koj yuav tsum yog qhov tseem ceeb.
Txoj kev naj npawb 4: kev txhawb siab
Zoo siab thiab ua kev zoo siab rau txhua qhov koj ua tiav. Txhawb koj tus kheej nrog qhov tseeb tias nws yuav coj koj ua tiav txhua txoj haujlwm raws sijhawm. Qhov ntau ntawm kev txhawb siab tuaj yeem sib txawv heev - nyob ntawm seb qhov loj ntawm txoj haujlwm tau ua tiav. Lub siab dawb paug, pw tsaug zog zoo, chav nyob huv, xov xwm zoo, nce nyiaj hli lossis nce kev ua haujlwm, thiab lwm yam.
Cag tawm "cov kab mob" ntawm kev sim muab cov khoom ib sab ib zaug. Yog tias koj zoo li koj xav tshuaj xyuas koj li ntawv lossis ua khob dej tshuaj yej - so ntawm txoj haujlwm ntawm tes, tab sis tsis zoo li ntawd. Mus taug kev lossis pw tsaug zog (yog ua tau). Kev so kuj yog kev kho mob zoo rau kev ncua sijhawm.
Qhia koj lub peev xwm - tsawg me ntsis, pib nrog "ua haujlwm yooj yim." Piv txwv, yog tias koj xav txhim kho koj lub cev muaj zog, qhia kev tawm dag zog thaum sawv ntxov (dhia) rau hauv koj li niaj hnub ua lossis sim tsis txhob noj tom qab 6.
Yuav ua li cas nrog kev ncua sijhawm - saib cov vis dis aus:
Yuav kom xaus, kev ncua sijhawm yog kev tsim txom ntawm tib neeg niaj hnub no, sawv ntawm txoj kev vam meej thiab txhim kho tus kheej. Kev tshem tawm nws siv dag zog ntau. Tab sis qhov txiaj ntsig los ntawm qhov no tuaj yeem hloov pauv koj lub neej kom zoo dua, qhib lub qab ntuj tshiab rau koj.
